My Story

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It's more like a scenic drive through my healing journey. So, if you're up for a bit of a longer ride, one that unravels my energy and why I'm all about what I do, then let's hit the road together and dive into the story!

I'm frequently questioned about what sparked my fascination with studying and engaging with spirituality, plant medicines, psychedelics, and holistic healing methods.

My interest can be traced back to my personal journey of healing. It all started during my tumultuous teenage years. I yearned for love and attention, yet regrettably, I sought it through exceedingly unconventional behaviour - I was rebellious, always on edge, surrounded by the wrong crowd, and turned to alcohol and drugs to fill an emotional void. Depression and anger had a tight grip on me, and I felt disconnected from both myself and others. 

At 14, I remember a crucial moment when I used to escape home and spend nights in shady places, getting loose with alcohol and drugs. This led my parents to send me to a rehab center for drug addicts, where some traumatic events occurred, leaving me feeling profoundly suicidal. Due to my parents' concerns about my safety at home, I found myself in a locked psychiatric ward for nearly a month, prescribed anti-depressants and tranquillisers that numbed me. This has had an impact on both me and my life, though regrettably not in a positive manner.

For years, I had blurry memories of ages 14 to 16 due to my nervous system blocking them out.It's only later I recognised that these events led to lasting PTSD, severe panic attacks and depression. My nervous system remained in constant fight or flight mode, wearing down my self-identity and self-esteem. Despite appearing successful, highly autonomous, and independent, my adult life for me was a constant series of challenges.

Unfortunately, due to my messed-up nervous system and lack of understanding of what "healthy" meant, I found myself entangled in toxic relationships filled with emotional and physical abuse. At some point, I felt so low, codependent and depressed that I lost all hope of living a happy life.

In 2014, I hit rock bottom, which prompted me to make the decision to embark on my first 10-day long silent retreat, Vipassana. Vipassana became a life-changing experience for me as it guided me inward, helping me release many trapped emotions and discover inner peace. Although the feeling of calm didn't endure for too long, it was at that moment I realised that mindfulness could aid me in reshaping how I responded to heavy mental states, ultimately altering my patterns. 

This silent retreat marked the start of my conscious spiritual journey. I traveled alone to Asia, immersing myself in spirituality, yogic philosophy and Buddhism. Silent and dark retreats deepened my self-awareness and meditation practice. Mindfulness helped me move beyond the constant fight-or-flight mode, and yet...I sensed something was still missing. 

I eventually got married and enjoyed a safe and nurturing marriage, thinking that it will help me to feel whole. On the surface it looked like my life had all the right checkboxes ticked, and I was supposed to be happy. However, something deep within me wasn't content. I lacked a sense of wholeness, purpose and self-knowledge. Even though I had good self-awareness, I felt an emotional emptiness. To cope, I developed an eating disorder, struggling with bulimia for a year. It was during this period that I came to the realisation that I must cultivate self-love and embrace every aspect of myself that I had been ignoring.

These inquiries led me to explore neuroscience, psychology, plant medicine, shamanism and other indigenous spiritual practices. I began working with psychedelics, delving deep into my memories, and healing parts of myself that craved love and compassion. Along this journey, I had a near-death experience where I surrendered completely, ready to embrace death. This pivotal moment altered something within me, causing me to shed all fear. From then on, I underwent a profound transformation, I quit my business where I was working for 10 years, divorced and embraced my authentic self: I listened to my needs, followed my intuition, and step by step, this process of self-discovery led me to a state of profound heart opening – my awakening.

In this awakening, I learned to truly love myself unconditionally, revolutionising my relationship with self and others. I now face life with an open heart, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. Armed with tools to turn any intermediate state into love, my life transformed. I just felt complete, joyful, united with all beings. I wouldn't claim that I haven't faced any challenges since then, but I've reached a point of such awareness regarding my patterns that they no longer dictated my actions.

As my heart blossomed open, I found myself awakening certain psychic abilities—clairvoyance, extrasensory perception, and telepathy. The initial experiences were a whirlwind of intensity, yet with time, I learned to ground myself and channel these mystical gifts to offer guidance and aid, not only to myself but also to those around me. 

Now, I am gradually unraveling these extrasensory gifts, learning directly from the Source and nature, and using these abilities to guide others on a path of healing through the transformative lens of light and love. My genuine aspiration is to support others on their individual journeys of transformation, creating a secure and nurturing environment where healing can thrive.

Love,

A